You're not alone, my friend. As you heal from trauma, I want to encourage you deeply and cheer you on.
No one should have to journey alone.
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If Goldilocks had ever come to my childhood home, she'd have found three bears alright - alcoholism, violence, and incest. For such is the history of my heart. What is the history of your heart, my friend? Were you sexually abused too? If so, keep reading, for there's hope ahead.
In-sid-i-ous - proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects.
The insidious nature of childhood sexual abuse is like an autoimmune disease, twisting, tangling, taunting, and tormenting the soul - ultimately turning you against yourself. The injury to your soul, mind, and body and the resulting numbing of your soul, mind, and body are so severe you can't even imagine the possibility of healing.
Now, I don't know where you are in the healing process. Maybe you're experiencing the emergence of suppressed memories. Memories buried since childhood but now their seeping out? Or, as I experienced, flooding out like someone cracked open a fire hydrant.
Maybe you're trapped in unbelief - mentally and emotionally unable to accept something so dark, and evil happened to you? Acceptance was a massive challenge for me too.
Perhaps you're the only one who knows. Aside from the predator who abused you, no one else knows your story. And the isolation and loneliness have grown claustrophobic.
When sexually abused as a child, there are about a gazillion ways to become silenced, paralyzed, overwhelmed, confused. Hopeless.
But there is hope. You, my friend, are not hope-less. What you have experienced, what you have endured is grave indeed. Evil personified.
But God has given us hope - as an anchor for your soul, firm and secure.
My friend, even the darkness of being sexually abused as a child, is no match against God's grace, love, and power. Healing is possible.
I absolutely used to believe things were hopeless. I thought I was hopeless. But God took me by the hand and guided me step by step. God provided for me moment to moment. He kept me and sustained me. He untangled my tormented soul. And slowly but surely, he's releasing me from all the ways I learned to numb my soul, mind, and body.
Healing is possible for you too. In fact, I believe your healing journey has already begun - it's how you found your way to these words. Beloved, God loves you. God is for you, never against you. And what the enemy intended for your destruction, God will turn for good.
You are near and dear to my heart too, Beloved. Here's a song I've been praying over you. Crying tears of belief as I pray the lyrics over your life. Give it a listen and be deeply encouraged, The Blessing by Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes, and Elevation Worship.
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Thanks for stopping by. Trusting in Jesus, you have more treasure than pockets. From my heart to yours...