Come out of hiding, you’re safe here with Me. There’s no need to cover what I already see. You’ve got your reason, but I hold your peace. You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key.” Out of Hiding by Steffany Gretzinger
Where Are You?
So, you’re headed someplace new. Someplace you’ve never been before. You whip out your iPhone. Open up your home screen and tap the Maps icon. Now, what’s the first thing Maps identities for you? Where you are!
To head anywhere, you’ve got to first know where you are. Where you are is as equally important as where you are headed. Do you need to turn right or left? Head north or south? Is it around the corner or a transpacific crossing? No way to know for sure until you first identify where you are.
When it comes to life circumstances, it’s not always pleasant to define where you are. Mostly because, so often, we want to be anywhere but here. Ugh.
Healing is Possible
Like addressing childhood sexual abuse. Who really wants to address that?! I mean, seriously?! I remember specifically wanting to never ever, like ever address it.
But eventually, your mind and body become exhausted from trying desperately to pretend all is well inside your soul. The truth is, you won’t function wholeheartedly in any area of life until you first know you’re accepted and unconditionally loved. But the problem is you won’t believe you’re accepted and unconditionally loved until you experience some healing.
And healing is possible!!! Oh, yes, it is! So let’s head towards healing by first identifying where you are!
Suspect
Perhaps you suspect you were sexually abused as a child? Like an intuitive voice deep inside of you attempting to connect the dots in your life? Perhaps you have some evidence that supports your suspicions? Or maybe you experience a nauseous feeling or sense of foreboding anytime you encounter the topic of abuse with others, in books, movies, or on TV?
Maybe, like me, you have years of your life void of memory altogether? Like they never happened. Your memory leading up to those years, and following those years is clear and detailed. But for a certain time period…whoosh…your memory vanished. I have four such years in my childhood.
Or perhaps you have a sense of shame you can’t seem to shake? Of just a flat-out sense of wondering…although I would say it’s more like a sense of knowing something happened to you… but you just can’t put your finger on it.
Now, let me be crystal clear with you, sweet friend, I’m in no way saying if any one of these items is true for you or all of them are true for you that that means you were sexually abused as a child. I am not saying that. I’m not suggesting it either, in any way. Remember, all we are attempting to do here is figure out where you are. And unanswered suspicion is a place to begin exploring to see if there is childhood sexual abuse in your past to address. If this is where you are, here’s a way of moving forward – What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do.
Memories Just Surfaced
Beloved, has your memory begun to surface? Tiny recalls are now trickling up from nightmares too horrific for a child’s mind to process. Or flashbacks all too vivid to ignore.
It’s been fourteen years since God released my memory. Mercy. That’s my prayer as I think of you should you be facing the same circumstance today. Mercy. And also, I’m so sorry. It’s still beyond my comprehension how anyone could sexually abuse an innocent, precious, defenseless child. I am deeply sorry it happened to you.
So if today, where you are is remembering all the Darkness. And you’re feeling overwhelmed. Can I please share with you the same tool of the mind my counselor, Dr. Richard Clark, shared with me after my memory came roaring back? How To Face a Monster.
And please know, I might not know you by name yet, but I am praying for you. You are not alone.
Ready to Process
Sometime after your memory surfaces, and it’s different for everyone, you’ll hopefully become ready to process even if you’ve remembered the sexual abuse all these years but chose to push it back into a place you never talk about or acknowledge. At some point, I’m praying you’ll become ready to process—meaning, ready to address and face the Darkness.
Addressing childhood sexual abuse is a process. And I suppose there are many ways to go about it. Not for a minute would I presume there’s only one right way. Heck no. But I can share the journey I traveled – a process my therapist Richard taught me about. A process other women I’ve walked with have followed. Would you like to know more? If this is where you are, start here – Childhood Trauma – 7 Healing Phases.
Where You Are
Suspicions? Memory returning? Ready to process? Where ever you are, my friend, what I know for sure, God will meet you right in the midst. Right now, if you’re struggling to believe he will meet you in the midst, I understand. Completely normal. So allow me to believe on your behalf.
Healing is possible! In fact, I believe you are already journeying towards healing! And as I pray for you, I imagine God singing over you these words of hope…
Come out of hiding, you’re safe here with Me. There’s no need to cover what I already see. You’ve got your reason, but I hold your peace. You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key.” Out of Hiding by Steffany Gretzinger
I’m listening. And would love to hear from you! Subscribe below to share your thoughts, comments, questions, and topic suggestions.
Thanks for stopping by. Do you know someone else who was sexually abused as a child? There are so few good resources for encouragement. Be their encouraging hero by sharing this post with them.
Trusting in Jesus, you have more treasure than pockets. From my heart to yours,
